A Eulogy

Editor's Note:

I went back and fixed this to close to what was actually said. I left some parts in it here that I skipped in the eulogy, simply because everyone there could read her particulars, and the blogosphere doesn't have that luxury. Not that anyone actually cares, but this is my little memorial to her.

"It is truly only at a time like this where we realize how little time we really have on this Earth. Mom would want me to tell all of us here today that we should not let a day go by that we do not tell those whom we love how important they are to us. Our time is too short, and it would have been even if Mom had lived another 50 years.

"It is impossible to encapsulate someone’s life into a short eulogy. This will not even begin to give the audience an idea of her likes and dislikes, her complicated nature, or; most especially, the effect she had on the lives of everyone here today. Carolyn Cooper Miller was born on June 19th, 1937, to Russell and Myrtie Cooper. She is predeceased by her mother and father, as well as her brother James Russell Cooper, and her great-grandchildren Bella and Abbey Lester. She is survived by her husband, Keith Allen Miller, and her sister Jane McDaniel. She is further survived by her daughters Christi Leonhardt and her husband Kenneth, Kelly Lester and her husband Ricky, and her son Kyle Allen Miller and his wife Myrlah. She is also survived by her grandchildren Derrick Russell Lester and his wife Janelle, Kenna Leonhardt, Katie Garcia and her husband Gabe, Jacey Lester, Loni Lester, and Connor Allen Miller. Last but not least, she is survived by her great-grandchild Gabriel Draiden Garcia.

"Mom passed away at home, in the time and place of her own choosing, surrounded by her husband and children. This is exactly the way she chose to live her life.

"This does nothing to tell the audience what sort of person she was. We could and will tell you about her railing against the Catholic Church, Bill Clinton and the Democratic Party. We could tell you about walking into the house and hearing her giving Congress a good tongue-lashing as she watched them on C-Span, Fox News, or CNN. You can take it from all of us that her tongue was sharp and acidic. Could she have but actually gotten a few of those politicians in her presence, that sharp tongue could have taken care of a lot of our country’s current problems before they ever got started. I promise that none of us will ever flip on a news channel without a smile. And we’re going to miss it. Our wife, our mother, our grandmother, our great-grandmother, our friend, is gone from us. We will not have the benefit of her guidance, her wisdom, her arms around us, and most especially, her unconditional love. We’re going to miss that.

"I know that is pure selfishness on our part. We cannot for a moment have wished the suffering that Mom went through on her, even for moment. As much as we still want her and need her, we know that she is free of the awful struggle and pain that she was in the last year of her life. And I cannot for a minute begrudge her the joy she must have felt at begin reunited with Mimi and Granddaddy, Mildred, Jimmy, Hermann, and Marcus.

"I hope that everyone here has someone in their life that is 100% in their corner the way Mom was for all of us. There was no more staunch advocate, more fierce defender, or at times, harshest critic.

"There’s no question in my mind that my mother would have gladly laid her life down for her husband, children or grandchildren, without question or hesitation. That is unconditional love. Through a mother or a wife’s sacrifice and love, we get perhaps a small glimpse of the love that God has for all of us.

"Anyone who knew her knew how much Mom’s family meant to her. If we can get an idea of what her life stood for in just a few words, and if we can take something away from her life, it would be through an understanding of the importance to her of her family and of God. My mother’s life stood for the importance of family, and of a relationship with God. It was what she devoted herself to, and put all of her resources and efforts into. And all of us here today are her legacy.

"We see in our society today the effects of broken families, and the consequences of removing God from our day-to-day lives. We have prisons full of people without a supporting family, and without a relationship to God. Mom regarded family as the direct expression of God’s will on Earth. Family is the unifying force.

"Mom taught us that a family sticks together, no matter how hard it was, no matter how unhappy we might be with each other, A family sticks together, through whatever evils the world throws at them. They stick together emotionally, financially, spiritually, and physically. No matter what, those of us in this family knew, and continue to know, that we can always count on the support of our family. This gives us the strength to venture out and try to make our way in the world. We knew the consequences of failure could never be that terrible, because we always had a home to come back to.

"With the unconditional love comes unconditional forgiveness. Mom taught to us the value of forgiveness, because truly no family can be whole without it. There are times where I’ve been mad enough at my family to disown them. In the heat of the moment, we can end up doing just that. But is the heat of the moment enough to cost the entire relationship? Absolutely not. The Bible teaches us not to let the sun set on our anger, and this is but one reason why. Anything that poisons or destroys a family’s relationship flies in the face of what God wants for us. She’d want me to tell those of you out there to let go of those resentments and anger, before it is too late.

"Mom believed that most of our problems in the world today emerged from a de-emphasis of family and God in a person’s life. She believed it was a mistake to allow anything else to occupy the spaces that God and family should occupy. I think the family relationship is truly what God meant for us to be. I know that every person that I dated, every friend that came over for Sunday dinner, loved what we had as a family. Few of them had it, and all of them wanted what we have as a family. That is proof enough for me this family is the way God meant for families to be. Mom would also want me to tell all of you that if you’re not having a weekly dinner with those who mean the most in this world to you, you’re missing out. Start. You’ll be extremely thankful that you did.

"Do not think for a moment that family means only a blood relationship. It also includes those friends who are family as well. You're all here today because you're a part of Mom's family as well. Thank you."

This is a little closer to what I actually ended up saying, I think. It's still kind of a blur. To say that was the toughest public speaking gig I've ever had is quite an understatement.

Godspeed, mom.