A Long Absence and Lessons Learned

And so it has been awhile since I posted.

I could write all night about what's been going on that has kept me from writing anything. I don't really wish to discuss it at this point and time. Depression about a few things has kept me from having any sort of creative spark whatsoever. Suffice to say; another major life change is in the works, which is probably ok. The circumstances aren't ok, but are they ever?

However, great lessons have been learned. Re-iterated, actually. I'll touch on them here a bit. I seem to be hard-headed and obtuse to an almost suicidal extreme. Which is probably why the good Lord has to really rare back and smack me hard to get a point across. We'll just say that he has yet again taught me a lesson, that if I had an ounce of sense I could have avoided. It's almost like my life is a Greek tragedy at times. The hero in a Greek tragedy is always felled by something called hubris. It's a fatal flaw that all the characters have. Here's the goodies that I'm getting this time around, and in no particular order:

1. Never sacrifice what you believe in for financial security. Ever. If you have an ounce of self-integrity, you'll hate yourself for what you are doing. And that will prevent and prohibit any sort of success, consciously or subconsciously. And the enemy wins every time it happens, no matter what the outcome.

2. The inner voice that's telling you something is not a good idea should be heeded at all costs. It's right.

3. No matter what sort of moral standards preached. No matter how good the package looks. If the thing itself is inherently wrong, it can't be rehabilitated. Cloaking itself as something else doesn't change the inherent nature of the thing. In much cruder terms, it does you no good to polish a turd.

4. Subscribing to a moral code means it has to be applied across the board, in all aspects of your life. It does you no good to be fine Christian on Sunday, and debase yourself come Monday morning. That even applies to what you do for a living. I knew this, but see the justification item somewhere below.

5. Family and friends might sometimes seem to be an abstract concept. But when in times of crisis, they'll be there for you. I've got the best of both, and they've really proven it yet again. It makes you feel so unworthy. I've not done anything to deserve what they have done and continue to do for me. I hope that I can be a fraction of what they have been for me. On so many levels, unconditional love is the most powerful force imaginable.

6. Sometimes drastic, dramatic change is the catalyst needed for growth. Forests actually need forest fires to reproduce themselves. It's destructive, but something new and beautiful rises from the ashes.

7. If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger. From BATMAN BEGINS: "Why do we fall, Master Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again."

8. Learn from your mistakes. And the biggest lesson to learn is contained in item #1 of this list.

9. Quit making them, you Nimrod.

10. Evil doesn't think it's evil. That's what's so seductive about it. We carry an innate capacity for good within us. Call it what you will. I have my own belief as to what that is. Nevertheless, it will serve us well. Evil gets a foothold within us by disguising itself, and allowing our earthly desires to override that which is spiritual in us.

11. Along the same lines as #10 above, we can find ways to justify bad behavior. Justification doesn't make it right. It's probably a noble thing to want a better standard of living for one's family. It's not noble to sacrifice principles for that noble end. The ends do not justify the means. To paraphrase, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

12. Just because there's not a law against it does not mean it's not evil.

13. If you believe in God, and that he will steer you where you need to go, then shut up, sit down, and let him drive. Quit trying to force something that's obviously not in grand scheme of things. More on that in another post.

14. Eight rounds from a .45 fired into a big watermelon in less than 2 seconds makes a hellacious mess. It's also extremely cathartic. I just thought I'd throw that one in.

Just to prove the point, the reader is encouraged to go back and review the very first post on CEREBRAL MISFIRE. Maybe I should go back and read my own stuff. I had it figured out then, and I've never written anything that was more true. The formatting was terrible, but give me a break. It's the first post I ever did as a blogger. I digress. So how did I manage to forget that hard-earned lesson?

Simple. I sacrificed a core principle for security. I justified it by thinking I was doing the right thing for my wife and our well-being. The scary thing was: it seemed the right thing to do at the time.

How wrong I was. More frightening: how many are in the same boat as I? Hopefully this will serve not only as a warning to me, but to others.

Another great paraphrased quote: it could be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

I'm serving that role quite nicely at the moment, thank you.