"Look, A Baby Wolf!!!"

This was the classic misdirection feint-catchphrase my friends and I used to pull on each other, when we wanted to divert attention from one place to another. Usually stealing food was involved.

I feel like W just tried to pull it over on me again. The problem is, I really get angry when people try and play me for a sucker these days. Fortunately, I'm usually too dumb to realize it. Unfortunately for W, I'm on to this one.

There's no doubt that W's suffering in the polls. There's probably a good argument that will translate into Democratic gains in 2006. I am not 100% convinced on that one, but time will tell.

At any rate, W's stance on border issues is so poor, he decides to look like a real conservative by saying he's for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriages.

Nice try, W. While I firmly believe the institution of marriage should be one man and one woman, I'm not all that willing to start trying to amend the Constitution. I kind of like it the way it is. Especially that Second Amendment thing. If we start jacking with the Constitution, we may not like what happens to that grand old document. It's not like activist judges haven't despoiled its plain meaning anyway. Leave the darn thing alone, or it's going to unspool like a roll of Charmin.

This is just an attempt to fire up the conservative base. When W sold us out on the border issue, he figured he'd try and get a bit of support back by attacking another hot issue that conservatives like me get fired up on: the sanctity of the natural family. And let's be honest here: the timing is just TOO suspicious to be anything other than a cheap power play.

I have to hand it to his political handlers, though. They couldn't have picked a safer issue. They figure we'll all be happy about his sudden fit of conservatism, thus saving the 2006 elections. The problem is that we won't get a Constitutional Amendment like that ratified. It'll never happen. W knows this; and knows that when it fails, he can look like a martyr for trying.

Brilliant. If you have the brain of a Labrador, and get distracted by a thrown tennis ball, that is. Actually, with some labs, all you have to do is PRETEND to throw a tennis ball. Hmmm. Sounds kinda familiar....

For instance, the National Guard is moving towards our borders. They won't have guns, though. Expecting people without guns to guard the border is kind of like putting a steer in to breed the heifers. It looks good, but it doesn't really have what it takes to do the job.

Actually, this might have worked on me better before 9-11. Now, I realize locking the barn door before the Islamofacists get in and blow us up might be a LITTLE more important than Adam and Steve. Besides; at this rate, all they're liable to blow up is a bunch of wetbacks.

Regardless, I want the door locked and bolted. Then we'll worry about banning gay marriage.