Items Santa Again Failed To Deliver This Year

I keep asking, though. I don't care if they ARE imaginary, a man can dream, can't he??

1. A lightsaber. The utter respect one could command by firing that thing up would be worth its weight in gold. Plus, it would come in handy for slicing up and cooking the turkey during the holidays.

2. An X-Wing fighter from STAR WARS. Not as easy to pull out of your pocket as the lightsaber, but I bet still fun to own.

3. A STAR TREK phaser. In my young, temperamental days, I would have reduced a lot of people down to their component subatomic particles. Nowadays, I would just stun people who annoy me. For instance, the guy who cut in front of me at Blockbuster earlier today. In my perfect world, I would have zapped him senseless for an hour or so. AND I would have put his movies back on the shelf while he was out.

4. The transporter from STAR TREK. That would cut down quite a bit on the daily commute, I think. Not to mention weekend travel time would be nil.

5. A blaster from STAR WARS. Ok, phasers are cool and all, but sometimes you just have to blow holes in things with a particle beam weapon. It’s loud, it’s destructive, it’s all in good fun.

6. The flashy thing from MEN IN BLACK. This little item might actually be more dangerous than the lightsaber in my hands. We might all wake up to find that Kyle’s been elected President, and Jennifer Connelly’s now the Presidential Concubine.....Yeah. It’s a good thing I don’t have one.

7. The Bentley from the last Bond movie. Everybody knows a guy isn’t a guy without cool wheels. Bond has always had the coolest. Next to the Batmobile, of course.

8. The Batmobile. Ok. Everyone probably saw that one coming. Maybe Bond didn’t have the coolest car. His were actually less conspicuous, though.

9. My own pet Wookiee. I know they would be probably illegal to own, but the guy in Blockbuster no way would have cut in front of me had I had one in line with me. Not without having his arms ripped out of his sockets. Han Solo had to have gotten his SOMEWHERE.

10. An adamantium skeleton, claws, and mutant healing factor. It would all have come in handy, especially if I would have gotten the lightsaber as well. I probably would lop off an arm while getting used to the thing. So the unbreakable skeleton might be useful. The claws would just be pure fun.

Oh well. Maybe next year.